Jan 15, 2010

somehow... you never will understand...










i've never felt like this before... down.. dissapointed... heart broken... i mean,, is it too hard to ASK for a happy family? i feel like everything is tearing apart...

you live here... here in KUALA LUMPUR!!! and yet hearing from you is as if you're in the north pole or somewhere damn far... i mean, is it so fucking hard for you just to ring in once in a while so that we know that you are okay?? is it too hard? you dont have to be goddamn mean to your parents.. they were and still are worried sick about you? but how do you repay them?? by not returnign their phone calls?? by not checking in once in a while with us...??? by being silent?? c'monla... you are the eldest.. you used to give me all sorts of advices.. but i guess it just went the window, ha??

you are the eldest... but you dont potray those things... maybe you don't feel it because you're not at home... but i am the one feeling it.. im the one in da STUPID HOUSE!!! im the one who listens to mom and dad's complaints about you... their concerns about you... and their dissapointing tone of voice towards you.. they miss you.. and they love you .. but why r you doing this? why?? dont you feel their pain? dont you feel their sorrow?

long ago, i was always excited in waiting for you.. but i guess... im done waiting... im done, you hear me.... you dont want to cnct home? fine... up to you... because you know why? I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!!!!
im not trying to be mean... i love you so much but please dont do this...

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