A letter to my teenage self.

Dear Teenage Shafira,

If only you knew the things I know now, you definitely would not have made the mistakes you have done back then.

If only you knew, that those who bully you back in high school, are now just a mere memory of your past when you reach my age.

If only you know, that not all boys mean it when they say they love you.  They end up leaving you when they move to another school.

If only you know, that some friends PRETEND they care for  you, when all they want is your dirty little secrets to be spread around.

If only you know, the days you went through to get through that humiliating night might just be the worst nights you have to go through. (With unhelpful teachers, of course).

If only you knew, that out of the hundreds of friends in high school, only a few (you can count with your fingers) who remained till today.  Just your luck, I guess.

If only you knew, that boys don’t just borrow your money as prove that you love them, that is just a lame excuse of getting easy money.\

If only you knew, the men you dated are jackasses and bastards until that one person finally came in your life when you are 22.

AND,  If only you knew, the hardships you faced are the ones that breaks you and then builds you up to an amazing woman that you are today.

Dear Teenage Shafira,

There are many things I wished would be different, but if it were to be different, we wouldn’t be here, where we are today, would we? It’s Allah’s secret and it is He who knows best!