Mar 7, 2010

somethings just never change...

sometimes in life.. you just wanna hold tight to someone and never let go... yeah.. i know how that feels... i was afraid to let this person go, not knowing what i did... my act to make him stay just made him go away... i huess i was soo afraid to let go that i actually lost grip of him.. not to say that he is mine.. b ut he's a dear friend whom i happen to like.. (how stupid am i right now???) but the thing is.. u cnt just play with feelings.. that is wht i did wht i did... is because i have feelings for other people n its not fair for the other one.. that is whjy i am SINGLE right now... i need to sort things out... i need to get my mind straight...

now, he's not talking to me.. not even looking at me.. not even texting me.. i miss all those things... i miss those smiles... n those big scary eyes when u see them in the dark... how i miss the intimacy we had.. (not dat we did anything, OKAY??!!) its just his presence made me feel confident of myself... n recently, i hurt myself because my frustration of myself... i caused these stupid problem to rise.. but i dont know how to fix it.. im afraid that if i fiz it, it'll get worse.. but if i leave it, it'll also get worse.. i just DONT want him to dissapear in my life.. friends like him is so hard to find... he's a genius... i mean it... n he has the most generous heart ever... who could top that?

i just wish that the person would read wht i wrte in this blog.. becasue i wont be able to get any responds from him if i text or whtever...

im sorry if i ever did anything to hurt you.. but bu have to understnd one thing... i will never ever do anything to hurt you.. n i am still patiently waiting for the day for u to talk to me n laugh again... n for the movies that u promised... i m counting on that.. i just wnt us to be okay again... it hurts me to be in this situation.. n my fragile heart cnt take it anymore.. it hurts too much... please dont make me suffer, dear.. i beg of you.. i really miss him... i really do... please...
<3<3<3<3 .....

No comments: