~ Sunshine to my gloomy day ! ~

 “Well, I'm going home, back to the place where I belong ... And where your love has always been enough for me... I’m not running from, no, I think you got me all wrong.. I don't regret this life I chose for me...But these places and these faces are getting old...So I'm going home, well I'm going home”

                 Aiman backed away from his laptop. “This song...” he thought. “ This song. Daughtry...” And he turned to his soft board filled with pictures and captions. His eyes focused on the centre of the board. There, pasted multiple pictures of his family members. His mom, dad, two naughty brothers and his 7-month old baby sister.  And suddenly his eyes caught a glimpse of a figure he knew very well. A figure that he used to give his heart to, a figure now only known in the past but yet have an impact on his present. A figure he used to call ‘fiancée’ known by the name of Suhaila . And everything was flashing before his eyes.

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“ Sayang, why do you have to go so far away?” Suhaila started the conversation after having a nice jog around Taman Tasik Titiwangsa and heading to the playground nearby.

“ I don’t know, baby . The university offered me a spot there; I would be a fool not to accept it. Anyways, New Zealand is not that much of a distance. I can come back whenever I have the time,” replied Aiman. He took a seat on the swings. Suhaila took the spot next to him.

“But I’ll miss you too much. I don’t think I can bear the pain of you living far away.” Suhaila started to pout. She started to make circular motions on the sands with her feet.

“Baby, you’re my fiancée. Insya Allah, when I am done with my degree, we will get married. And that is my promise to you,” smiled Aiman to Suhaila.

“Hehe.. I know dear. Insya Allah. Sayang, you need to promise me that you will study very hard. You’ll study for Abah, Ibu, Mama, Papa, your siblings, and of course, for me! No slacking, no more being lazy and certainly no more DOTA!”She teased.

“No more DOTA? But baby, how will I survive? Haha ... Yes, I promise to study very hard. I wanna be able to provide for you and for our future little Aimans and Suhailas to come!” Aiman teased her back. Suhaila jumped up, pinched Aiman and ran. Aiman wasted no time and chased her until she was in his arms. “Baby, I love you.” He whispered softly in her ears.  Those were the last moments of him and her together. What came next was too much for his heart to bear.

                He was in New Zealand when it happened. Aiman had just received a phone call from Suhaila’s mother. “Aiman, I’m so sorry this happened when you are there. But Suhaila was involved in a car accident and she is in a very critical state right now,” explained her mother in tears.

                “Allahu Akhbar!” Aiman dropped his Samsung Galaxy Note. He felt as if the world was crashing down on him. He quickly recovered and picked up the phone.

                “Mama, how is she doing now?” He tried to hold back his tears. He knew if he cried, things would get worse. “Allah, please save my fiancée, Allah,” cried Aiman in his heart.

                “Her condition is critical, Aiman. She is in surgery right now. I don’t know what happened. She was driving when suddenly a car came crashing. The car didn’t have time to break and he crashed into my baby girl!” Mama was now wailing as she explained to Aiman what happened.

                “Mama, can I speak to Abang Fahim please?” Fahim was Suhaila’s older brother.

                “Assalamualaikum, Aiman. Dude, I’m sorry for what happened. We are all here in the hospital awaiting news from the doctor.” Fahim said.

                “Never mind that. Fahim, do you have your iPad with you right now?” Aiman asked in a hurry.

                “Yes, why?” Fahim asked.

                “Turn it on and turn on your Skype. I want to be there with all of you too. Now, Fahim!” Aiman’s instructions were executed as follows. Aiman rushed to his laptop and turned it on. He saw the name “Fahim Stylo” online on his Skype contacts and pressed ‘Video Call’.

                What he saw really broke his heart. He saw Suhaila’s grandmother crying on one corner, being soothed by his mother. Everyone else was pacing up and down the hall and jumped on to every nurses and doctors that came across their path.  All Aiman can do was to stare at the gloomy scene laid out in front of him. He never stopped praying for the safety of his fiancée.

                A man in white suit with stethoscope around his neck came out of the surgery room. “Any family member of the patient is here?” He asked. All of them went circling around the doctor. Fahim also brought his iPad along with him so that Aiman can listen and see the doctor.  Questions upon questions were asked and the doctor raised his voice to silence them.

                “I am very sorry but your daughter was in a critical state when she arrives. She suffered internal bleeding and blunt force trauma to her head. She also had fractured ribs and suffered severe hematoma. We tried our best but there is nothing else I can do. Please be by her side because she really needs you there.” Before the doctor finished his explanation, Mama fainted, Papa was crying and the room was full of tears. Aiman, listening through Skype can’t hold back his tears anymore. “And yes, is Aiman here? She asked for a person by the name of Aiman.” The doctor continued.

                “Aiman is here, doctor.” Fahim raised his hand and showed the teary Aiman on Skype. “He’s in New Zealand right now, furthering his studies. He is Suhaila’s ... fiancée.”  It took Fahim a couple of seconds to finish up the sentence.

                “ Then, I may let you and Aiman go in first and have a private conversation with her. Is it okay with you?” The doctor turned to Mama and Papa.

                “Anything will do, doctor,” answered Mama.

                Those few seconds Fahim took to walk to the ICU were among the longest period of time in Aiman’s life. He wasn’t sure if he was prepared to see his fiancée’s condition. And then he saw. His princess lying on the bed, with wires all up in her arms, bandage around her legs , arms, and over her head.

                “Aiman, I’m going to put the iPad here on the table in front of her,okay. And I’m going to leave you two to have a conversation.”said Fahim while setting up a table in front of Suhaila’s face and finally left the room for the both of us.

                “Baby ... Baby.. Stay strong, please. I’m here...” choked Aiman, uttering his words.

                “Sa...ya..ngg... Is ... That ... you...?” Suhaila croaked. It was hard enough for her to speak but Aiman can still hear her whispering voice.

                “Yes, baby. Open your eyes. Here I am. I’m right here in front of you. I’m with you, baby...” Aiman said in tears.

                “Saa...yaaa..ngg.. Please don’t cry. I think my time will end ... soon. Promise me ... you will ... take care of ... Mama and Abah ... for me. Study hard, sa..yang... I love ... you...” Suhaila muttered slowly, tears trickling down her eyes.

                “Baby, you know I will always love you. No one else is for me but you. Please don’t leave me, baby. Please don’t leave me!” Aiman was now crying hysterically. The door was pushed and the rest of the family members came in. Everyone was trying to hold back their tears and crack a smile for Suhaila but it was hard.

                “Mama... Papa... why are .... you crying...? I’m okay ... but I think ... my time ... has come. Abang Fahim, please... Take care of Mama and ...Papa... I love .. all off .. you.. so much ...”

                Papa leaned to Suhaila’s right ear and instructed her to follow him reciting the Kalimah Syahadah.

                “ Ashhaddualla Ila Ha... Illallah .. Wa Ashhaduanna ...Muhammadur Rasullullah...” and Suhaila took her breathe for the final time.

                Aiman was lost for words. His fiancée left before his eyes. “ Innalillah.. May you rest in peace my love. May you rest in peace with the rest of Allah’s soleh and solehah servants.” He cried silently in his heart. And he pushed the ‘End Call’ button on Skype.

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He stepped outside onto the serene roadside of Fitzgerald Avenue, East of Christchurch and saw children cycling down the road. He continued walking until the park and bumped into some colleagues. After having some short conversations, he continued his path. When he made a turn to a small coffee shop, he saw someone!

            He saw someone he remembers from a while back, a girl from his past. After buying a cup of coffee, he went to the table and said, “ Assalamualaikum... May I have a seat here?”

“Waalaikumsalam. Who ... are ... AIMAAAN!!! Oh My God! What a small world. Yes, yes, sure. Have a seat.” Aiman smiled and took a seat.

“ Nurul Shazwa Rasyiqah. My oh my ... How long has it been? 7 years, maybe? You look all... grown up, Shazwa.” Aiman teased her.

“I know I was petite when we were in high school, okay, but not anymore. So how are you? What are you doing here?” Shazwa bombarded Aiman with questions.

“Woahh, woahh.. chill, girl! I studied here. Graduated in Engineering and was offered a job here. I don’t think I’ll be going back to Malaysia any time soon. I want to gain experience here first, then I will return. But i usually go back during festive events.”Aiman elaborated.

“Really? Same here. I was offered a job here too. Hey, I have to go now because I have a meeting with a very important client. Exchange numbers, will you?” Shazwa took out her Blackberry and gave it to Aiman. Aiman took it and entered his number and called his own number.

“Done. Hope we can get together again.” Aiman smiled.

“Yes, I do hope so too. It was nice seeing you again Aiman Farish. I never thought that out of all the places, we would be meeting each other here.” Shazwa said with sparks in her eyes and turn around to leave the place.

Aiman came back to his apartment. Not long after that, he received a text message from Shazwa.

“It was nice meeting you again, Aiman. Really missed you all these years.”

“We should meet up again someday, okay. Maybe this Saturday. I have an event to go to and I would have to go without a partner. Unless.... if you are willing enough to be my partner? J” Aiman took a deep breath and hit ‘Send’.

Another text message came in. “Be your partner? Sure, I will gladly be your partner. Do update me on the event later,okay? Have to go. Assalamualaikum.” And Aiman carved a smile.

When Saturday arrived, he went to pick Shazwa up and he was speechless. Shazwa looked like an angel. With her light blue baju kurung with beads and embroidery and her shawl being done that way, she was perfect. She was the centre of everyone’s attention that night and most importantly , she was Aiman’s attention that night.

Their friendship grew and they often see each other. Usually it would be for long walks in the park or just stop by the coffee shop and grabbed some snacks. They got to know each other’s past more and began to understand each other better. Aiman felt this feeling in him for her, but he denied it.  He felt guilty for loving Shazwa because of his undying love for Suhaila.

Until one night when he was sleeping, Suhaila came to his dream. She was wearing a very beautiful white dress and her face was glowing. “ Sayang...” Her voice echoed.

“Baby...? Baby? Is that you? Baby, please don’t leave me again.” Aiman cried.

“Sayaangg.. I know your love for me is undying. But you have to move on, sayang. I know you found someone, sayang. Go for it. I love you, Aiman. Go for it .. Go for it..” and she disappeared within the clouds of mist.

Aiman woke up with sweats in his forehead. “Suhaila!” He thought. “Thank you, baby. Thank you for always being there for me.”Aiman wiped his tears.

He now has no fear of falling in love anymore. He now knows that if he falls in love again, he would be honouring Suhaila’s wish to move on, and not disrespecting her love towards him.

He and Shazwa finally got together and waited the time to go back to Malaysia to tell their parents about their decision to get married. When Aiman was there, he and Shazwa visited Suhaila’s grave and recited Yassin for her.

“Shazwa, thank you for accepting me as I am. Thank you for being patient with my attitude and how I reacted when we met earlier back in New Zealand.” Akmal grabbed her hand when we back in their car.

“Abang, my intentions were never to be a replacement to Suhaila. For me, I understand where Suhaila is in your heart. She will always be there. I just wish there is a room for me to be the sunshine to your gloomy day, to be your strength when you are down and to be your smile when you put on that frown. I just wish you can give me a chance to be the best wife I can be and be the mother to our future children.” Shazwa replied.

“Sayang, you already are the best for me. Allah crossed our path for the second time for a reason. You showed me that I can finally move on yet hold on to my memories with her. Thank you for accepting her in your heart, too. Thank you very much for that.” He really is the luckiest man alive.

“Abang, I think we should make a move. We have some appointments to go to before our wedding day. Hehe...” Shazwa reminded Aiman.

“Oh my.. Here goes.We have a busy day ahead of us” Aiman released the hand brake and his Lancer moved softly exiting the graveyard in Kuala Lumpur.

“Dearest Suhaila, Thank you for everything. My love for you will always be cherished inside my heart.  May your soul rest in peace with Allah. Insya Allah.”

“Dearest Shazwa, thank you for being the sunshine to my gloomy day, my rainbow after the rain, my inspiration. Thank you for being the ideal wife that I have always wanted and I thank Allah for giving me you.”

Again, I am bored, Hehehee.. this story has nothing to do with the living nor the dead. this story also is not something big or fantastic. This is just MY WAY of killing time ... :)